Beauty, Nailpolish, xrays, etc

For those of you who don't know, I totalled my moms car on August 1. I was on my way to my friend Joyces filled weekend at the Philadelphia Premium Outlets (Helllooooo Max Azria!!). But no, I crashed the car 30 seconds after I left. Patrick was on the breezeway when he heard the accident. He immediately called me.
Ok, so this is the SECOND time he's been an audible witness to a crash of mine. First time was while I was pregnant with Sean. I had pulled out of the Acme parking lot and some crazy lady pulled into my lane hitting my back drivers quarter panel, sending me into a 180. The only thing that stopped me from turning was another car hitting me. They, in turn, sued. Long story there. Which! I'm still trying to get my credit fixed from there. Arbitors awarded a 40k judgement in their favor, but that was turned around in a jury trial.
Anyway, so apparently Aveos sound like when you crush a beer can against your head. Love that. only not really so much.
So, I get a ride in an ambulance. I had airbag dust in my eyes. They said I had a hard time staying awake, but no, I had a hard time keeping my eyes open due to the burrrrrn. Chemical burns on my chin and lower lip, right sided leg, foot, elbow and shoulder pain. Not to mention the considerable pain my head is in constantly.

So! Life has been hard with Pats new overnight job, PLUS we're down a car, then theres the whole apprehensiveness of me getting behind a wheel. :\

I went to my primary, who just happens to share an office with an Orthopedist. His PA's child had a stroke too! It was probably a neonatal stroke, but they can't tell? I was like "First person that I've met *in person* whos child had a stroke!" We had a lot to talk about!!! I hate reliving/retelling the story, but sometimes I guess its cathartic. It really just kinda pisses me off because of...well, I'm not going into that here.
Anyway, so back to my medical issues for a sec. They're not afraid of broken bones, but they're concerned that I may have probably slipped my C1-C2 vertebrae at least. hooray. I'm having shooting electric feelings down my arms and almost like, restless leg syndrome. Its like I get shocked. I hate it. I've lost sleep over it, and Ambien...side effects suck, and I don't sleep for serious anymore. Like I'll wake up after 4 hours. I kinda want to try Ambien CR? but HI! No health insurance right now, and I'm sure that costs a fortune. I mean, Pats Lyrica is already $230/month. Thats not even all his medicine.
Sidenote: You know what pisses me off about Lyrica? It CAUSED him to gain weight. Now doctors are like "lose this weight" Well...its hard to lose weight that was caused by medication. Trust me. I was a health maniac when on (high doses, 100mg every other day) prednisone for 9 months + tapering, PLUS walking up to a 3rd floor apartment, not to mention running around after Sean. I'm kinda afraid that my sluggishness helped create his ADHD, and I feel incredibly horrible. Not to mention the fact that ever since Meghan was conceived, its been all about her. She's always kept me on my toes. Threatened miscarriage, thought I had gallstones, hydronephrosis, (for a kidney patient BAD. Oh you guys know of my FSGS, right? check that out. Its a cause close to my heart. My biological family is EXTREMELY affected by this disease. yes, I'm adopted if you weren't aware), premature labor, magbags, bedrest preemie + 9 days in the NICU etc. The WORKS. all with a year old child. Then she had the tumor, then a freaking stroke! Always on my toes!
I wanted my kids to be 2 or 4 years apart. This sounds crazy, I know. But I have a friend, whos family randomly came up with the cousins are all 2 years apart. So each kid is 4 years apart in one family. I think its a pretty awesome concept. And the cousins actually do fit in lol Sean was 1.5 when cousin #1 was born (then 6 months + 1 day later, Meghan was born) and cousin #2 was born when Meghan was 21 months old (3 days before her stroke).
There needs tbe a psych study done about parents of kids who turn one and what makes them want another child. lol. in hindsight, 2 in diapers wouldn't have been my ideal. especially with the circumstances, you know? lol

Anyway, other than that tangent... Oh, I had to get xrays done. took TEN days to get an opportunity to go. I go to the facility I was told to. I was turned away since I don't have health insurance. I was like "This has nothing to do with health insurance... This was a motor vehicle accident." Too bad. That started a day of trying to find a place to get my xrays. Ended up at Paoli. They're AMAZING. I'm never going to Chester County again. I'm not going to get into why here, too personal. If you REALLY must know, I'll let you know one on one. They were just jerky. LONG story :\

Yesterday was just a day from hell.

I've been extremely emotional lately. Distant. Misanthropic. Not like myself, right? I have a lot going on in my personal life, that I'd rather not discuss here. But its just been crazy. And its all self induced in a way, and its more that I don't have the guts to sever old friendships (aka drama) out of my life for posterity. So I get SUCKED in! Wish I had the ability to just get rid of all that. Its not my personality.

Step in the right direction: My friend Peg will be performing Reiki on me. I'm so excited about this! Nothing in western medicine has helped my migraines, Reiki...is something I've been interested in doing for years. I've done so much research...

also i had a parlay into trying to figure out what my next career move is. 3 candidates. Nursing, but I'm too emotional. Going to Pulse in Downingtown. But I want to do more of the cosmetology than hair. I like doing hair, etc, but makeup and such is just inherant in my nature (Actually, growing up, we always thought maybe it came from biomom, Deborah. The woman wore makeup TWICE in 45 years of life. so nope!). And Peg has opened my mind to maybe going to the Cortiva institute for massage therapy and Reiki training.
CHOICES! lol (and then I think of Friends and Phoebes Relaxi-Taxi/Cab lol)

Oh, a beauty tip that helps me get rid of the puffiness that I have since I almost never sleep. Take some regular old reynolds wrap/alum foil. Put it in the freezer for an hour or so. Cut out holes for eyes nose mouth and wear for 15 minutes. Instate "facial". Its like putting frozen spoons on your eyes.

You guys know I'm a nailpolish junky, right? Well, Courtney Love, on her twitter said something about a MATTE nailpolish. If you know me well, a) Courtney = big deal (i'm a musician, my rock goddess) in my life b) fashion is FINALLY meeting me in the middle. c) Matte nailpolish has been something I've been looking for for years.
so I forgot what she had said, twittered her, and she direct messaged me back (!?!?!?!) while at karaoke on Thursday. I threw my phone at Jake in surprise. Its called KO, and you can get it exclusively at Henri Bendel's in NY. But you can order from their website, sight unseen for $19/bottle. Its cruelty free, more natural than other things out there (Toulene/Formaldehyde free) and apparently stays on longer. I'm so excited to test this. Especially with my lifestyle haha They have some awesome colors. Shockingly, short black or dark nails are in again. (HA! I WAS fashion forward in high school!) Courtney says the black and the burgundy are her favorite. Plus the topcoat, which I usually forgo because of time constraits. I get so frustrated with waiting for nails to finish drying.

oh, and Megs been vomitting. So frustrating. So we've changed her feeding to 220ml over TWO hours. mixing half her formula (peptamen jr w/prebio) with pedialyte. So far, so good. I have to call the GI on monday. dude, GI is so freakin incompetent sometimes. I made so many calls/messages to them...only to find out 3 days later, that the NP is on vacation. Nobody GOT my messages. I mean, shes not emergent, we know the signs of dehydration. Shes not lethargic. Just so frustrating. I hate prevacid, and I don't think its a reflux thing. I think she needs an antiemetic, but they don't like putting kids on reglan. too many side effects (wow half the kids at dupont were on reglan wth?!)

Ok, time to brave sweet and sassy salon for Meghans haircut, then wegmans! wooo

Vegetable Bolognese Recipe MY WAY :P

I really love Italian cooking. Theres something fun about it. So, here is one of my favorite recipes that I make at least once a week. Of course, not including my italian pasta salad and salsa :P

Vegetable Bolognese
1 onion (i'm going to use half, don't like onions as much, and its what i have left from last night anyway haha)
1 red pepper
2 cloves garlic
2 carrots cleaned, bottom top taken off
6 or so pulses on the food processor (if you don't have one, diced size)
2 ts or so olive oil in pan, saute veggies
kosher salt, pepper
fresh thyme, oregano
cremini and shiitake mushrooms (i don't use that many, not a mushroom lover)
1.5 tbs tomato paste
porcini mushrooms (skipping these. oooooops forgot themmm)
red wine


prepare pasta, rigatoni
bring water to boil, add salt add pasta

both veggies and pasta need 8-10 minutes.
when reduced/thick
1/2 c mascarpone cheese

add pasta directly to gravy, add some of the pasta water (1/3-1/4c) to help thin sauce and help gravy stick to pasta

I'm using parmesan reggiano on top.

Its just as good with the porcini mushrooms. I just buy the dried ones and soak them for a few. because they're perfectly measured, don't have to clean them, and they're actualy cheaper.

Going to post a pic!
hope you can see that.

I also serve it with my garlic bread, which...i think Tastefully Simple's (Lesley is the best consultant to talk to for that :D) Garlic Bread Mix is discontinued, but if its not, i just whip it with some butter, spread it on italian bread, and broil for only a couple minutes (each oven is different. I learned how to burn the bread before making it perfect)

Have fun cooking :)

landscaping...

I would love a concrete jungle backyard lol All the flowers I bought on memorial day are dead. They looked pretty for a couple weeks. then I guess animals, bugs got to them :(

Now the whole brick patio in the back is ripped up, and grass seed will be put down. I am not a fan of this idea. I want a hexagon brick patio! What we had was okay too. Just the wooden frame was lame and a host for carpenter ants (same as our driveway frame). UGH. So Sean has like, a 4x4 place to ride a bike. and then the rest will be all grass. i guess that works out for the jeep he got for his birthday.
Speaking of; He is getting a big boy bike for his birthday, and a kid guitar for christmas. Because I think 5 is a good year for a bike, and I want to get this kid into music. Put some of that extra energy into SOMETHING. I already know he's artistic. The kid can do my hair better than I can. He's also enrolling in hiphop dancing classes in the fall lol SO! He will be JaimeLynn Spears' kids backup dancer/hairstylist. I swear. He is SO insistent that he WILL go to Britney with me. "Please mom, I will hold your hand the ENTIRE time. I will not get lost. I PWOMISE!" It breaks my heart that I can't take him, since he's a huge fan, but its just going to be too loud and too many people, you know?
Maybe Peter Paul and Mary would be a better speed... (i honestly think 2/3 of them are dead though, so oops) Or even Paul McCartney! I wonder if I'll have the same opportunity with this years tour to be a "brand rep" :P and make the most money for his charity (Music Lives, GREAT charity!!!!!!! something I really believe in. Bringing back music in schools instead of new astroturf every 2 years for sports...) and get free 3rd row floor tix. That was such an amazing time. My mom is still reeling 4 years later that she "got to see a beatle"! As long as its not Ringo hahaha

I'm in desperate need of just a room to play my guitar and come up with some awesome jams. I had a splash of genius a few months ago, but never completely followed through with it. And I'm too lazy to restring the Ovation.
K said when he comes to visit west chester, he'll bring the Telecaster I gave him. I know thats kinda crappy to be like "yo dude, i got you this present, but I had the hopes that you would actually use it, its just collecting dust in Pittsburgh, while you live in Florida, I could really use it" but oh well.

Pats parents are at the shore, and we may be able to get down there sometime this week for a night or two. I'm kinda weirded out about Meghan a) being so far from CHOP and b) beach sand + G-Tube. eek.

Ok, its bedtime! I work in the AM.

no real title here either

Todays appt went well. Dr Walter explained WHY! Seans is not allowed Chocolate, or Yellow, Red, or Blue dyes. I've already been trying to keep a hold on what he gets of those, but I spend so much time in the grocery store checking for Casein...and Pats always gettin the kid Capri Sun. NO MORE CAPRI SUN! so that means no more terracycle (if you haven't looked that up, do it, and if your kid drinks pouch drinks, you can send them away; recyclable. less in the landfill is a good things)

Over the weekend, I went to Lori and Tim's wedding. Everything was beautiful. The bride, looked amazing! And the bridesmaids were pretty in pink, with Lori's daughter as maid of honor, looking like an adult! Gorgeous :D
We had a great time, and table 14 had the best centerpiece arrangement in the whole place :D Orchids and a floating candle. haha

I'm in a really good mood right now ;) and I'm headed off to watch Intervention, then sleep (I'll probably fall asleep during it; i'm exhausted!)

Goodnight Internet!

I twittered this

But I hate hate hate hate hate hate Prevacid. I swear. I mean, if it wasn't 100% necessary so my daughter didn't have reflux and vomit everywhere with it... Grrrrrrrrrr Explody. Hooray for wasting medicine that I know costs $450/month (thank you insurance, even though they almost didn't cover it)...the Sol-u-tabs were crappy because they didn't discintegrate, and they were $6/piece because I had to buy them outright.

Ok, off to AI for Seans appt with Dr Walter (developmental pediatrician)
still, rawr.

no title

today was horrible. had to call 911 from the schuylkill because Meghan was really sick and unresponsive. Got off the highway at Gulph Mills, ambulance brought her to CHOP. they have no idea whats wrong with her. Each doctor has their "idea", well no. Nobody really has ideas. they just want to put their 10 cents in and say what its NOT. I don't care what it ISN'T.
Monday, it will be a year since she had the stroke. Not one answer. Just a myriad of more problems.

I'm an emotional wreck right now. thats all I had to say.

I don't have a title.

Pat is getting a biopsy on his muscle tissue on Wednesday.
My creatinine was 1.2, instead of .8/.9 the way it usually is. Could have been a fluke, but we're rechecking it. along with my cholesterol, since the last time it was checked, it was like 355. Craziness, but I was on prednisone at the time.

I'm so physically exhausted. i took a new medicine last night, and i just can't fully wake up.

Pat and I lose insurance on June 30th! so we have to get all this stuff done. Meghan has to see the stroke clinic on friday, then next tuesday is the 36 hour fast.

I thought about going to school again. I'm too scared.
So, I'm thinking of putting all my free time into organizing a benefit for pediatric stroke awareness, or Meghan. I have a few friends I'm going to ask to play, and I have to find a venue. I also want to have tshirts/buttons/stickers/magnets/bracelets or something. Idk.

I need something to keep my mind busy.

Quick

because theres going to be an outage on blogger.com in like, a half hour.

Pat and the kids went to "Meet" Thomas the Tank Engine (don't call him Thomas the Train to Sean, he WILL correct you.) on Saturday. They went along with Pats parents, and his sister, Nicole, who brought her two kids Zack and Dylan.
I, unfortunately, had to work later in the day, but I didn't want to rush them, so I did my own thing. I'm bummed I missed it, but they had an awesome time. This was Sean and Meghans second time going; we went back in Sept 2007.

I ended up meeting up with an old friend from Boston. We ate at Rock Bottom, shot some pool, and when we parted ways, I was able to partake in/enjoy some retail therapy! Hit up MAC to update my look. I'm pleased :D My artist, kept gushing about my eyes, but said that I should also play up my lips because they're gorgeous. I told him to keep going on hahaha Then I was "accosted" by one of those guys from the straightening iron kiosk. CHI is the only one for ME! Then to BCBG/Max Azria, my favorite designer...holygosh. a) 70% off sale rack. THEN! b) whole store (including 70% off?) 30% on top of that. i thought i was going to die of shopping induced heart attack. BUT! I tempered myself. Bought one dress, and its useful. Pat's cousin is getting married next month and its perfect. I adore this dress. I tried on a few different things...Orange is my color. I love rockin the orange. I was warned pink makes me look too young. So THATS what it is!?!? Lets see how this new look works.

Ok, so yeah, I'm back in my Dorothy Parker obsession stage. Better than Pablo Neruda? I guess. idk. For some reason, I just feel blah and bitter. But there are times I'm happy. I can't explain it. I'm going through a lot in my head right now. Probably not a good idea to put it all out on such a public forum. so, yeah.
CNN is depressing. I hate that my mom puts it on and walks away. i've been watching "how clean is your house" on BBC. anything to make me feel better about my cleaning activities. haha Those houses are vile.

I'm trying to figure out how to post these pictures, so...yeah. i'm going to put up the Thomas pictures. Ignore the "PROOF" label. Maybe to be changed later.
Oh, this reminds me. I have to get to scanning the picture from Meghans first haircut. :) And I don't know what that arrow is in that one picture. The first time I posted them, the blog cut off my mother in law Mary, but hopefully that is fixed now.